Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDR)

Most have seen or even experienced this disease. Yes it is a disease. It results from the damage that occurs to neurons in the cerebral cortex as "factions" within it, to put it in layman's terms, go to war with each other. The damage can be permanent. Here at the ILRC we have ways of mitigating this damage however, but there can be serious side effects such as the inordinate desire to hide in closets, and the loss of ability to suffer fools. We feel that, given the severity of the syndrome, these side affects are well worth the risk.

One of the more effective treatments we have is accomplished through simple board games. The patient is tasked with playing the game and is given severe electric shocks when he looses; and he always looses. The patient is unaware that his opponents are staff. Each time the patient makes a mistake the staff gives him a round of cheers with jeers. Some who pretend to be his ally attempt to talk him into strategies that won' t work and jeer him for not using them. If he chooses to acquiesce, when they fail; cheers and jeers. During the entire time of the game he is constantly accused of being an idiot and a moron.

This is only one of the treatments we provide, and one of the only that require a waiver and a physician on hand. This explains the extra costs but it is our most effective. As always I remind the reader that these are professionals administering this treatment, and I highly discourage any attempts of administering it at home with fellow family members, especially without a nearby defibrillator and trained medical personnel. We have already had a near tragedy as one of our patients attempted to use this method on his grandmother with a stun gun and a checker board (see side affects) nearly resulting in her death. Please, the price is high, but not to high to heal your grandmother of liberalism, so bring her or other loved ones to the professionals who know best.